... Here's a fun little survey I found on another diary. It's certainly more original than the usual ones.
1) My uncle once: let me squirt him with a fake water squirting camera. Of course he pretended he didn't know, but the ruddy thing was plastic and as obvious as get out.
2) Never in my life: have I gone base jumping, and never in my life will I. Have you seen those lycra suits they squeeze them into? Hideous!
3) When I was five: all the photos taken of me show me with two pigtails. I'm not sure why, perhaps my mother thought that was the best look for me.
4) High School was: a better experience for me than for a lot of other people I talk to. I mean it was no reason for a rousing chorus of Knees Up Mother Brown, but it could have been a lot worse.
5) I will never forget: my savings card pin number. It's branded on my memory.
6) I once met: an old guy in the nursing home I worked for who'd been a millionaire when he was younger. He'd given it all away to charity, and then when he got sick he had no money left and had to go into the charity funded home. Funny thing was, he didn't seem to regret giving the money away.
7) Once upon a time: is a seriously overrated story beginning.
8) Once, at a bar: I drank something that one of the guys handed me that, even though I didn't know it, had tobasco sause in it. First I swallowed, then I spluttered, then I punched him in the arm.
9) By noon I’m usually: Dying to get out of the office for half an hour or so and go across the road to the pub where "Everyone knows your name".
10) Last night: my cat decided that it was my sole purpose in life to scratch her tummy, even if I wanted to get onto the net.
11) If I only had: a brain
12) Next time I go to church, I: will probably be attending a christening, wedding or funeral.
13) Terry Schiavo: would probably have been horrified by the news coverage and everyone feeling like they had a right to her personal stuff. I know I would be.
14) What worries me most: changes from day to day, and sometimes from hour to hour. There's usually no real reason behind it, I just go into a "worry spiral" and have to wait it out.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: my dammit doll hanging from my pinboard by a ribbon that's tied to look like a noose. It's a rather unfortunate choice of storage, actually, given that the dammit doll looks a bit like one of those old fashioned gollywogs.
16) When I turn my head right, I see: the crystal ball that my parents gave me a few years back. I call it my "pet crystal".
17) You know I’m lying when: I bite the side of my mouth to try to stop laughing.
18) What I miss most about the eighties: is those really great Go-Go shirts! I loved those things! Ooh, and fluro socks!
19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare: I'd want to be in one of his comedies. All his tragedy heroines end up dead.
20) By this time next year: a whole 365 days will have gone by.
21) A better name for me would be: the artist formerly known as Kelstar
22) I have a hard time understanding: why anyone actually voted for our Prime Minister. The idiot's on his way out for sure, but he's already caused so much trouble they'll be doing damage control for years after.
23) If I ever go back to school I’ll study: this course in paranormal investigation I read about. It sounds like a gas!
24) You know I like you if: I smile at you with my teeth showing.
25) If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: the person who handed me the award. It's only polite, after all.
26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: walked into a bar...
27) Take my advice, never: try to stain furniture on the kitchen lino only using an old bedsheet as a drop cloth.
28) My ideal breakfast is: eggs benedict served on the balcony of a villa in Tuscany
29) A song I love, but do not have is: "The Day You Went Away" by Wendy Matthews. It always makes me cry.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you DON'T go to Australia Zoo to see Steve Irwin. Please, don't encourage him.
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: all have very little in common.
32) Why won’t anyone: acknowledge the fact that I'm the centre of the universe? You'd all be a lot happier if you just accepted my superiority.
33) If you spend the night at my house: you'll be sleeping on my futon in the loungeroom which you'll have to share with the cat. Actually, the cat will be sharing with you seeing as she was there first. That is, of course, unless you're spending the night in my room ;D.
34) I’d stop my wedding: only for the most dire of situations, like a death in the family or a bad hair day.
35) The world could do without: John Laws. He wouldn't be missed at all.
36) I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: it's backside.
37) My favorite blonde is: a great title for a movie. Oh wait, they made one called that, didn't they!
38) Paper clips are more useful than: most people give them credit for. For example, you can heat up the end of one after you've unbent it and use it to burn a hole through your smashed toenail to release the pressure. There will be blood and gore, but all good things come at a price.
39) If I do anything well, it’s: usually a big surprise to all around me.
40) And by the way: if you're driving behind me and I'm going the speed limit, I'm not going to go any faster just because you're sitting on my tail. In fact, I might just put on the brakes and give you a scare.
